The Dream Of Gillette

I was just sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when across my feed emerged the latest in an all too common tale I like to call, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

Many are upset that the commercial’s message cannot just stand on its own. “Why don’t you adore it?” they say, “It is a vision of a kinder, more relaxed, and less agitated and sexist masculinity!” But no, sorry, it’s not as though the people who react negatively do so because they hate the values espoused by the writers of the commercial. It’s more in what the commercial does not explicitly say that is disturbing.

The real problem with the commercial is that it is a Corporation trying to shape the public conversation. If a corporation came out with a commercial declaring Jesus as the risen Lord (a doctrine I’m keen to proclaim to any unsuspecting coffee drinker) I would still be skeptical. I wouldn’t applaud. Corporations have effectively homogenized industry and destroyed the beauty of localist economies across the country.

As a product, it participates in the straw-manning of the male identity, a kind of man that, on the whole, does not exist anyway. Therefore, it identifies the problem incorrectly, which makes the solution redundant at best, and self-righteous virtue signaling at worst.

Yes, I agree that many people are overreacting to this commercial. But perhaps the outrage should be a signal to an otherwise deaf institution: “WE AGREE WITH YOU AND YET FEEL AS THOUGH OUR INTELLIGENCE IS INSULTED.”

Take it from a guy who grew in the fundamentalist ghetto: this kind of programming doesn’t work!

I just hate it when people are like, “Why do people hate this beautiful message?” The short answer: they don’t. The longer answer: they rightly are repulsed by “woke capitalism.”

The best call to manhood are the martyrs of the church, the ones who paid a price for their convictions and did so, as they understood it, to the glory of God. To act as though this kind of secular virtue-signaling is an important step in the right direction for a Christian is shallow and boring. When Latimer told Nicholas Ridley to “Play the man,” right before they were executed by “Bloody” Mary for the crime of reforming the English church, it wasn’t a call to act like a man, when they otherwise would not, rather it was a call to press pass the fear of the flames that would inevitably engulf their fragile bodies and respect the conviction that was seared on their hearts.

Fortunately for Ridley, the flames of those many Protestant deaths would ruin the attempts of Queen Mary of Scots to bring the English back to Rome. Not unlike how the Gillette commercial will ruin any chance it has at influencing the culture towards the good, the true, and the beautiful. And people rightly should protest. It is not enough to tell people what to do, my dear Corporations, you must show people what virtue looks like. And as a corporation, this is a near impossibility for you and your legal obligation to the bottom line!

Why don’t my progressive brothers and sisters at least recognize that the days of the D.A.R.E. commercials are over because it didn’t work? I’m serious! Did anyone who watched “The Shape Of Water,” that amphibious preachy glob of nonsense, not feel the same way they did when they watch the latest iteration of “God’s Not Dead” (Or, God’s Really Not Dead, God’s Really Really Really Not Dead, Etc)?




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